I had always been a healthy kid until one day that changed. 

Someone close to me made fun of my appearance, and that is when I became more conscious. It was then my struggle began. 

There was a certain imaginary yet expected criteria of beauty I wanted to meet. I was walking on this path, determined, ignoring the deadly plans my mind was preparing for me. I was a puppet in its hands. My life felt like someone else’s. I stopped recognizing myself and so did my loved ones. All I ever wished to be was finally standing right in front of that mirror, then why did it feel like this unrecognizable image of a person I lost on this journey? 

After 2 long years of suffering, I sought help. It felt like I was able to regain myself piece by piece. I was finally free from the imaginary shackles I created for myself once I saw how less scary it was. 

I want to focus on learnings, not my sufferings. 

We might not always know what’s right for us. I thought torturing myself was right until I woke from this state of hypnosis. After I started working on myself the definition of beauty seemed to have become more inclusive and less restrictive. I managed to see beyond my physical appearance and dig deep to acknowledge and cherish my internal attributes which make me unique. For example, I enjoy dancing, baking, writing, and socializing. Though these activities were tough at the beginning, it was all worth it. The joy it gave me filled my heart which had felt empty previously. There is light at the end of the tunnel. We just need to keep walking till it’s visible. My willpower and determination have always been my strong suit. They can work miracles. I just needed to choose where to channel them. 

Another thing that I am still working on is acceptance. It is extremely convenient to stay in a fantasy world where we aren’t required to move out of our comfort zone but the more, we can accept and work on ourselves the more we grow as individuals and strengthen ourselves. 

I am so grateful to have gotten the opportunity to experience something so intense firsthand, it changed my perspective on life and how much importance I am willing to give strangers in determining my worth. It transformed me into a confident and experienced person. It also gave me purpose; I want to help many like me overcome and wholeheartedly receive what life has in store for us.  

Beauty is a dynamic concept. It’s how I want to portray myself to others and it’s not putting layers of makeup to hide our imperfections but being able to accept and embrace them. It is when you stop comparing yourself to others as God made each one of us different so that we can identify and alleviate our individuality. Beauty is not a box we need to fit into but as boundless as the universe waiting to be explored. That’s beauty that each one of us possesses we just need to see through the unnatural and filtered version of it.