It feels empowering. It feels beyond anything I can describe.

The very thoughts and behaviours that came with the agony I was putting my body through, all because the voice in my head told me to starve myself to control external factors in my life. External factors such as bereavement and loss which were completely out of my hands, but yet I, for many years, blamed myself.

Getting through such a difficult time came with a very long journey of hurting and processing and therapeutic intervention. Alongside the bad days though, came the good ones too!

I wouldn’t be alive if there hadn’t been people in my life fighting for me when I couldn’t hold on myself. I wouldn’t be here if they hadn’t intervened in the way they did, because without nutritional intake, we fade and eventually disappear to nothing. I lost my sparkle when my eating disorder became a part of my life, but I’m so damned proud to say, it does not have a place in my head anymore. It’s taken 11 years. And although I live counting dates and working towards milestones, for this, I’m just happy to say I am fully recovered. Those are words I never thought I’d be able to say. I thought anorexia had become me and Rhiannon was under the control of the voice in her head. I thought I no longer could gain any control back or change behaviours regarding my eating. But here I am! Saying those words! And realising the fight to get my life back, is over. It doesn’t feel like a fight anymore.

It feels like a life worth living!