When I started my recovery journey 5 years ago, I remember feeling scared, isolated, and confused. Those close to me also felt similar and even though at the time, I was under hospital treatment, they too, could not reassure my worries or answer all of my questions. You’ve started recovery, and whether by choice or not it still feels like everything and nothing has changed all at once. You’re about to start a journey but you don’t know what you’re doing, where to start, or what the future holds. The nature of recovery is also complex and completely individual, and that feeling of uncertainty and loss of predictability can feel daunting.

So, here I am, on the other side of recovery, looking back at my past self with all the answers and reassurance I could have wanted. Therefore, I want to share with you…10 things I wish someone had told me at the start of my recovery process.

It is normal to feel confused.

Let’s face it, it would be strange if you weren’t confused. You are stepping outside of your safe box, you’re about to change your habits, challenge difficult thoughts, and question yourself and your choices. It is a given that at times your brain is going to fight against itself and confuse you with its conflicting thoughts. Sit through the confusion and focus on what matters… health and happiness.

Your weight might change, change, and change again.

Whilst I am talking generically about eating disorders, changing your eating habits may cause changes in your weight. In my mind, it was as simple as just gaining weight and going right back to where I was before I suffered from an eating disorder. However, as your body adjusts, it’s normal for your weight to fluctuate, change, and then change again. A little reassurance would have gone a long way when I was coping with these changes. So here it is, your weight changes ARE normal, and your body will sort itself out. Give it time to heal.

Your worst days in recovery will always be better than your best days in relapse.

When the road starts to become a bit bumpy, and the recovery process feels challenging, it’s easy to start glamorising your life before you start recovery. It’s normal to question why you’re putting all this effort in, things weren’t that bad…right? WRONG! Suffering from an eating disorder is awful, and it always will be. Even if a day in recovery feels bad it’s not, it’s good, because YOU are in recovery! So keep one foot in front of the other, keep choosing recovery, and don’t let those negative thoughts change your actions.

Recovery is not a linear process; a step backwards does not mean you are failing.

Fallbacks are all part of the process of recovering. Don’t put yourself down for not being perfect at it. The tough days, the days where you make mistakes or have a wobble, are the days that will see you out to the other side. Those are the days that will teach you lessons, make you resilient, and help you to grow as a person.

Set achievable goals.

Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither is the recovery process. Don’t get hung up on certain milestones, checkpoints, or goals. Stick to short-term, achievable goals to keep you moving forward. If the goal is too big, you might give up too early. By setting smaller goals you’ll also feel more sense of accomplishment of what you are achieving, therefore, helping you to stay motivated and on track.

Focus on the things that mean something to you.

For me, this was my pets, crocheting, and watching Our Yorkshire Farm on TV. They weren’t big things, but they were things I cared about at the time. These things had nothing to do with the reality of life, but I put almost all of my focus into them during the first few months. It helped me to ground myself, slow down, and focus on healing. Reminding yourself of the things that matter, family, friends, hobbies, ambitions etc. can help you to stay afloat and focus on getting better.

Everyone’s journey looks different.

In today’s world, there is an abundance of easily accessible online content and creators, especially in the eating disorder recovery community. Whilst engaging with this content might feel comforting, and reassuring at times, it can easily turn into an unhealthy comparison. “Why have I reached this point faster than them?” “Why have I not reached this point fast enough?” “Should I be eating the same as them?” “Should I be feeling how they are?”. The truth is, not two recovery processes will ever be identical. No one can ever tell you what your journey will look like. It’s yours. Own it!

Dig deeper, it’s not always about the food.

It’s likely that your eating disorder goes much deeper than just the food. For some of us, it can be about control, anxiety, and meeting ideals. It’s important to address these other issues affecting your well-being so that you can take full control of your eating disorder. Really take the time to reflect on the past as you learn to navigate your present and future.

Everyone is capable of recovery.

It doesn’t matter whether you have suffered from an eating disorder for 1 year or 10 years, what gender you are, your ethnicity, or your background, you are capable of recovery. You have it within yourself to recover and change your life. You deserve recovery, and you deserve to have a life free of an eating disorder.

You are ready, you already have everything you need to recover.

It’s easy to put these things off. To find small excuses that feed into our eating disorder and anxiety and prevent us from really moving forward. You are ready, you already have everything you need. You just need a tiny bit of self-belief to get started and if you’re reading this now and worrying about the process of starting recovery, please know that I believe in you, you are stronger than you know, and good things are waiting on the other side.