Supporting a loved one through an eating disorder is one of the hardest experiences a family can go through, and I hope that by sharing parts of our journey, it might help someone else feel less alone.

Our daughter first went into hospital at 13. We often felt unsure about what she wanted or needed, and truthfully, she didn’t always know either. Watching your child struggle like that is heartbreaking. Over time, we realised that patience, consistency, and unconditional love were the only things we could control.

The Maudsley method worked best for us. You need a lot of patience.

There were many challenges along the way, misdiagnoses, delays, constant changes in staff, and the feeling that the system was working against us rather than with us. At one point, she was becoming so institutionalised that we feared she would never transition back home. Eventually, she was assessed properly and diagnosed with ASD, which helped make sense of so much. The professionals then agreed she needed a placement better suited to her sensory and thinking needs.

The process was long, draining, and emotionally overwhelming. We had moments where we wanted to fight the system, complain, or push back harder. But we learned that sometimes fighting takes more from you than it gives. We had to lower our expectations, stay focused on the goal, our daughter’s safety and recovery and not let the system consume us. Working with them just enough to get her what she needed became the healthier path.

She was in hospital over 2 years and was moved after a year, as it wasn’t working at the first unit.

With God’s grace, after two years and one month on section, she finally came home. She was officially discharged shortly after, just before Eid, which made it even more meaningful for our family. We never got any Section 117 support, and dealing with yet another new social worker, until they were officially released from us, but we’re taking the win: she is home, safe, and slowly rebuilding her life.

What helped us most was the support from people who truly understood, parents, carers, and professionals from support groups. Their advice about patience, love, and stepping back without stepping away made all the difference. Our daughter resisted us many times, but unconditional love eventually broke through the eating disorder’s voice.

To anyone going through this: be kind to yourselves. This journey drains you emotionally, mentally, and physically. Let go of what you can’t control. Focus on your loved one, your family, and your own well-being. And trust that with time, patience, and faith, things can change. We are living proof of that.

Wishing strength, peace, and hope to all of you and your families.

Tariq and Suria