My ARFID Journey: Finding the Right Support 

In April last year, everything changed for me. What started as a bout of sickness, possibly food poisoning, landed me in the hospital. It seemed manageable at first, but by August, something had shifted. I began to notice a creeping anxiety around food that I couldn’t shake. 

I’d always been told I was a fussy eater. Growing up, that label followed me everywhere, and I’d accepted it as just part of who I was. But this felt different. I knew something more difficult was happening, something I couldn’t explain or put into words. The anxiety was specific, physical, and overwhelming in ways that being a “picky eater” had never been. 

Finding a name for what I was experiencing 

Thankfully, my workplace Employee Assistance Programme offered support, and I began talking to a counsellor. Through those conversations, I started to realise this wasn’t just general anxiety – it was something very specific. Armed with this understanding, I decided to visit my GP. 

The first appointment was disheartening. The GP was dismissive, insisting it was psychological, just picky eating, despite me trying to explain that what I was experiencing felt distinctly physical. I left feeling unheard and frustrated. 

That’s when I turned to the internet. When you can’t name what you’re experiencing, research becomes a lifeline. I realised I could request to see a different GP, and this time I felt more equipped to explain what was happening to me. 

The second GP didn’t know what ARFID was, but she listened, and this made all the difference. She took the time to look into it herself, and that validation meant everything. 

Navigating the system 

The eating disorder clinics I came across told me they don’t treat ARFID, which felt like another dead end. However, my GP provided me with a list of places to explore. I attended peer group sessions while I searched for other options, but many of the clinics I found that did treat ARFID had wording that suggested they were trying to “cure” a problem. This felt harmful because I knew this was something I’d lived with my whole life – it couldn’t simply be cured. 

The GP wasn’t sure where else to send me, and the waiting was taking its toll both physically and mentally. My weight began to dip, and I knew I needed help urgently. 

Finding the right support 

Then I discovered First Steps ED. What struck me immediately was how they explained their support in a positive way, validating my ARFID symptoms. The cost was reasonable, and crucially, they offered adult support. It’s incredibly difficult when you’re an adult who’s been told your whole life that you’re just a “picky eater,” only to find that most support services focus on children. 

First Steps ED took the time to match me with someone who turned out to be the perfect therapist for me. Victoria understood me completely, and I’m not exaggerating when I say she saved my life. She has lived experience and was genuinely interested in learning about ARFID. Despite how widespread the symptoms can be, she was curious and understood the complexity of what I was dealing with. 

Understanding and being understood 

One of the biggest challenges with ARFID is that people assume eating disorders are always related to body image. ARFID does involve restricted food intake, but I was actually trying to gain weight – I just couldn’t because I was terrified of being unwell from food. It’s incredibly hard to explain this contradiction to people, but Victoria got it immediately. Having that weight lifted off my shoulders, not having to constantly explain what ARFID is, was a welcome change. 

Knowing that First Steps ED sees ARFID as just as important as other eating disorders was crucial for me. Initially, I had 10 sessions, and I’m now on continuation support with an additional 5 or 6 sessions. 

The power of consistent support 

While group sessions can be valuable, I found it harder to build trust in those settings. Having the same therapist each time made such a difference. Having both individual and group support working in tandem was beneficial. 

I’m doing so much better now. We’re able to explore other areas in our sessions because ARFID often relates to phobia and overlaps with sensory issues more broadly. Being able to take little steps together has been transformative. 

Unexpected discoveries 

This journey led to an assessment for autism, and I’ve learnt so much about myself through that process too. Victoria listens to what I’m saying and structures our work around how I’m dealing with things. Halfway through my sessions, I was referred by my GP to a trauma specialist to address trauma alongside the ARFID work. We established there’s a link between the two, so working on both simultaneously has been essential. 

I’m more positive now and able to eat and gain weight. Whilst I have a supportive partner and family, having that supportive therapist was key. I was never pushed, just slowly encouraged at exactly the pace I needed. 

My advice to others 

If you’re struggling with something similar, please talk to somebody you trust. Explain that you’re struggling and describe what you’re dealing with as best you can. Set your own boundaries and surround yourself with supportive people. 

Support groups can be incredibly helpful — even if you don’t actively participate, just finding people who understand you can make a huge difference. The support is out there, but it can be harder to find because people don’t talk about these experiences enough. 

You deserve to be heard, understood, and supported. Don’t give up on finding the right help for you.