Let’s be honest. Most of us didn’t mean to hand over our time, our attention – and in some cases, our peace of mind – to our phones.

It just… kind of happened.

One minute we were checking a message, and the next thing we knew we were 37 videos deep into someone else’s holiday in Santorini, wondering why our own lives didn’t look quite as shiny.

Whether you’re 17 or 47, the pull is real. Notifications, likes, streaks, endless scrolling -our phones are designed to keep us hooked. And it works.

When I run Positive Social sessions in schools or workplaces, I see the same thing again and again. People, young and old, struggling to look up from their screens. Struggling to imagine a world where their phone isn’t the first and last thing they touch each day.

And it’s not just a bad habit.

Doctors compare our relationship with social media to the grip of crack cocaine.

It hits the same reward centres in the brain. That little dopamine hit when we get a like, a comment, or a notification – our brain lights up and says: More please.

We’ve become a nation of digital crack addicts.

And the scariest part? It’s socially acceptable. No one’s raising eyebrows when you’re glued to your phone in a queue, at the dinner table, or even crossing the road.

But if we don’t start choosing differently – consciously – this dependency will keep stealing time, presence, and peace from our lives.

The good news? Recovery starts with awareness. And you’re here, reading this. That counts.

Ask Yourself: Who’s in Charge Here?

Ever opened your phone for “just a quick look” and found yourself still scrolling half an hour later?

It’s not your fault. Social media platforms are literally built to hijack your attention. But recognising that is the first step to pushing back.

Next time you pick up your phone, ask yourself:

Am I using this… or is it using me?

It sounds simple, but that tiny pause can be enough to stop a mindless scroll before it starts.

Create “Boredom Space”

We’ve forgotten how to be bored. And yet, boredom is brilliant. It’s where creativity lives. It’s when your best ideas show up. (Think about how many genius thoughts you have in the shower.)

So try this: instead of automatically reaching for your phone when you’re waiting for the bus, standing in a queue, or waiting for your vanilla latte to be made – just be. Notice stuff. Let your mind wander.

You might be surprised what bubbles up.

Choose Real Over Filtered

Social media shows us the edited highlights of other people’s lives. We see the filtered shots, the best sides, the sun-kissed selfies.

What don’t we see? The insecurities. The moments of self-doubt. The messy human bits we all experience.

So if you ever find yourself feeling like you’re not enough, just remember: you’re comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s showreel. And that’s never a fair fight.

What’s real matters more. Seek out face-to-face conversations. Spend time with people who don’t care how many followers you have. That’s where life happens.

Set Tech Boundaries That Work for You

You don’t need to delete everything or go cold turkey (unless you want to!). But you can set boundaries that protect your peace.

Here are a few ideas to try:

• Phone-free mornings – Start your day without reaching for your screen.
• Do Not Disturb mode after 9 pm – Let your brain wind down.
• One-screen meals – No scrolling while you eat. Chat instead.
• App limits – Your phone can help you track how much time you spend on certain apps. You might be shocked (in a good way). Put the Screen Time widget on your phone so every time you unlock it, you see how long you’ve been on.

Remember: boundaries aren’t rules to punish you – they’re tools to free you.

Do More of What Makes You Forget to Check Your Phone

You know those moments when you’re so lost in something – laughing with friends, dancing, painting, kicking a ball around – that hours go by and you didn’t even think about checking your phone?

That’s gold. That’s what you want more of.

So ask yourself:

What do I love doing that makes my phone irrelevant?

Then go do more of it.

(And if you’re not sure what that is yet – that’s OK. Start exploring.)

Final Thought: You’re Allowed to Take Back Control

Social media and smartphones aren’t evil. They’ve brought us connection, creativity, and cat videos. But when they start to steal our attention, confidence, or well-being -that’s when we have to step in.

The good news? You don’t need to be perfect. You don’t need to go off-grid.

You just need to make one small decision today to take a bit of your life back. Then another one tomorrow.

And little by little, you’ll remember how to live a life that feels full, not just full of notifications.