I found First Steps ED online when I was at my lowest point. My diet had become incredibly restrictive, and I was consumed by anxiety around food. I was terrified of contamination, and as time went on, everything became more difficult. It reached the point where only I could cook my own food – I couldn’t trust anyone else to prepare it safely. 

This wreaked havoc on my relationship with my fiancée, who loves going out for meals. We couldn’t enjoy that simple pleasure together anymore. Social situations became a minefield too. People would get offended when I refused food at their houses, and I felt terrible about it. The whole thing made me incredibly anxious about going out at all, which left me feeling sad because eating together is something normal people do without a second thought. 

I hadn’t had much luck with my GP, so when I heard about Eye Movement Desensitisation Therapy available privately, I asked to be put in contact. I self-referred to First Steps ED and started ten weeks of one-to-one sessions. 

Those sessions really put me into gear. The therapist gave me practical skills to deal with the anxiety and showed me how to go about getting out and getting on with life. We worked through things step by step – fruit and vegetables, then bread, then dairy products. Once the wheels were in motion, I became more willing to try different foods. 

I’m eating a lot better now. I still get that critical voice in my head sometimes, but I know how to deal with it. I’ve learnt that once I start avoiding foods, it’s a slippery slope – things go downhill from there. It’s better to bite the bullet rather than wait, because the longer I waited, the worse everything got. 

Looking back, I realise I isolated myself unnecessarily. There were some people I didn’t talk to about what I was going through because I was scared they would judge me. When I finally mentioned it after a few weeks of treatment, they were incredibly supportive.  

I started this journey late last year with just those ten weeks of NHS support through First Steps ED, but it was crucial. I wouldn’t have had any support otherwise, and I don’t know where I’d be now without it. It’s made all the difference in getting my life back on track.